please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
