I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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