six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize