Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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