just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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