5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
