your parents love me but you hate me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
