I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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