Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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