Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
