I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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