Midget sex pt 2 tonight
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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