I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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