The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
