He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
