haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
