How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
