so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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