she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
