I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
