Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
