My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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