That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
