Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
