why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
