um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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