Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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