He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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