She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize