No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
