your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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