yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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