I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
