Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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