no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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