We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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