We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
