If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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