If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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