she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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