So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
