Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
