Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
