I love black thongs
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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