bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
