I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
