So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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