I need help removing her.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
