I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
what the fuck happened to the tacos
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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