It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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