I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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