Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
