Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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