haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
