I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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