I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
