tell your sister to shave her snatch
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
