he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
