whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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