I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
