But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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