Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
