does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
