I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
