i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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