i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
