billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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