I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
